I wish I only lived at night.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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