Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
