Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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