I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
love makes seman taste better
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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