this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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