I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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