she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize