My liver just broke up with me...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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