Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize