She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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