Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I touched a dick in church today
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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