Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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