Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize