Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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