I wannas sexs uuuuu
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize