I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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