you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
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That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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