Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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