Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize