Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize