yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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