I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize