So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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