No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize