At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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