You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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