he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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