I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize