Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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