4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
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She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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