I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
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He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
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Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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