Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
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Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
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All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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