dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
