you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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