You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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