The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize