Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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