we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
sex in a hospital.. check
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize