Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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