i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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