Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
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Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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