I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize