I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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