OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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