Don't you send me to vm
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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