I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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