You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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