My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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