there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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