Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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